He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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