Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Randomize
