she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
