We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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