Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
