Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
