I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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