Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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