I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
