And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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