So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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