So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
