I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
