Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
