You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
