So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
