Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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