My brain says no but my pants say off.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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