eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
