the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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