do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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