Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
