I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
