i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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