actually, I'm a sock model
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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