I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
