worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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