he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
