I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
