Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
