Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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