Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
How does one acquire holy water?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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