Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
