You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Randomize
