Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
