After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
