I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
