why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
