You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
