i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
