i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
