He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
