so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
