It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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