..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
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