the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
