Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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