So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
