Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Randomize
