So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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