It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
